.them or Me?

Today started off as a very rough day, from the minute I woke up it seemed that things were in complete chaos. Things did not get better as I had hoped they would and I started to fall into a worldly state of mind. Then, once I got home from school everything changed...
A little background information..Several months ago God was really beginning to reveal things to me and lay things on my heart. I felt like I hadn't heard from Him in so long or maybe I just hadn't been listening. When I finally heard Him, it was a complete, slap in the face if you will. I felt like all the things that I loved had been taken from me, but I felt like I remained in a state where I was thankful and knew that if they were gone that if was for a reason and that God still had a plan for my life. God however knew better and showed me and it brought me to a place of true brokenness. For the first time in as long as I can remember I didn't feel strong, I didn't feel ok and I didn't feel like things were going to look up any time soon.
Back to the present..Today an amazing door was opened for me and it is only because of Gods continued goodness in my life. This opportunity could change my entire lifestyle, but I've already been given something that has done that once before. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, and no matter what opportunity comes along there will never ever again be something as amazing or life changing as that was. My dilemma is that if I take this opportunity I need to still be able to keep God number one in everything that I do. I need to realize that the only reason I am capable of doing this is because of what God is doing in my life and if I don't continue to put my life in his hands this too will be gone. I need to stop saying that I love God and act like I love God. I need to quit judging others and look inside my own heart and see the things that God has shown me time and time again.
It is ok for me to love the things in my life, but things will never look up if I continue to love the things in my life more than I love my Savior.
So when God says to me, you have always loved those things more than me, where do I go from there?

.For These Times.

Well it's been a long time, hasn't it? I don't really have anything going on or new to share but I would like you all to read the lyrics to this song. I personally love country music..and this is a song by Martina McBride that has really touched me and been heavy on my heart.


In these times in which we live
where the worst of what we live
is laid out for all the world on the front page
and the sound of someone's heartbreak
is a soundbite at the news break
With a close shot of the tears rollin down their face
Blessed be the child who turns a loving eye
and stops to pray
For these times in which we live

In these most uncertain hours
where the balance of power
is a fight that is fought everyday
And freedom is a word
some cry out and some whisper
and some are just too quick to give away
Blessed be the one who stands by the one
on the battle line
For these times in which we live

Well give me a heart full of tender mercy
and arms I will open wide

For these times in which we live
Seems like the only answer is
givin up on findin one at all
and we hide behind unsure
pull the blinds and lock the doors
and hang a pleasant picture on the wall
Blessed is the believer who knows love is our redeemer
and the only breath of life For these times in which we live

Well give me a heart full of tender mercy
and arms I will open wide
Give me words full of loving kindness
and hands ready to hold up a light
For these times in which we live